I can no longer eat in the park with my wife.

The other day we were eating our lunches in park on a bench. Now this park is located at a university where we work so we can walk there and back and still have time to eat lunch. Because the rising cost of gas and the increased traffic was making it impossible to go home for lunch, we decided to just to meet in the park.

I can hear all of you now, go ahead, everyone go “Awwwwwwww”. Now that you’ve got that out of your system, lets continue on with my tale of terror.

So we are sitting in the park (I promise you we were not poisoning pigeons at the time), she eating her diet thing and I my curds-n-whey (mmmm cottage cheese) when walks by this pretty young blond co-ed who smiles and says “Hi Michael.” I wave back and my wife ask who the young lady was. I explain that she was in one of my IT classes. We continue eating and talking when another pretty blond co-ed walks by and says hi. She was in another IT class I was in, I explain. I get this out of my mouth just when this attractive an attractive brunette girl and an equally attractive redhead young lady (redhead… donuts… du’oh!) walk by and say hi and giggle. “I worked with them on a project for that web services class I took last semester,” I said before my wife could inquire. After about 15 minutes of this, my wife was quite perturbed.

“I see now why you take all those IT classes,” my spouse said with a hint of sarcasm. “Are there any guys in those classes?”

“A few,” I returned. “But I’m the only married, balding one with cute dimples. I seem to remember that was where I wooed you. You were taking a programming course that I was in and I helped you out a lot.”

“Yeah, and you didn’t stop at programming either did you,” my wife remarked. I should mention that she said this with a seductive look on her face. Too bad the kids were in a really loud mood that night and absolutely refused to go to bed until really, really late….

…and the fact that we went out to eat that night at a restaurant with a very attractive and very friendly waitress (another stunning redhead with tiny diamond stud piercing in her left eyebrow) who seemed fascinated by everything I said to the point that she sat down next to me (it was really late dinner and the place was almost deserted). And yes, I couldn’t but help notice that she was wearing a pink bra as she had her collar open enough to give everyone a glance at her “C” cups. Oh yes, she did get a big tip from me while my wife wasn’t looking (my wife wasn’t too happy with all the attention), and yes, dear, I did notice that you put a phone number on the back of the receipt.

I’m expecting some big, mean boyfriend to walk up to me one day and decide to take out his frustrations on me because my dimples are attracting his girlfriend.

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It took more than Kryptonite to take down this Superman.

World renown actor and activist Christopher Reeve died Sunday at the age of 52 after suffering a cardiac arrest that resulted in a coma Saturday.

Reeve, known primarily for his role as Clark Kent/Superman, enjoyed years of theatrical and Broadway success in such films and plays as Gray Lady Down, Fifth of July, Village of the Damned, The Remains of the Day, Somewhere in Time, and one of my favorites Deathtrap. Even after the life altering accident that paralyzed him, Reeve continued to act and direct in such productions as a remake of Hitchcock’s Rear Window and starring in several episodes of WB’s version of Superman’s early life, Smallville.

Acting was not his only outlet. He was active in many causes, most notably those associated with him after his accident such as better insurance protection against catastrophic injury, stem cell research, and spinal chord research.

My prayers go out to Chris and his family.

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1. What is something that you used to believe, but are glad you don’t believe anymore?
That there is just one special person out there for you. I’ve found that there are usually many people that are special enough for you to love and with whom to live your life. I went on for years thinking that I had missed my opportunity.

2. Is there something you wish you still believed? What?
No, everything that I no longer believe in were just fantasies that come in childhood.

3. What experience or person taught you the most about life?
The day I had a serious accident on a bicycle. I was banged up pretty bad, though I looked worse than I was, and it got me to realize that I should be trying to live life a bit more fully. It was because of that accident that I built confidence up to start dating again.

4. What area of life would you like to know or understand more about?
Why the hell I am so sick all the time. The doctors don’t seem to know either.

5. What is your most valuable lesson about life so far?
Drink deeply of the relationships that you are in, get as much time with the person you are with (without smothering them) and savor the moments.

Join life and do the Friday Five.

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Please send a very happy birthday greeting to one really badass, hot, sexy, beautiful chick Kim.

Happy Birthday Kim and have a good move!

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Everyone is in the voting mood this year. Tracy is advocating Votergasm (which I have pledged… yes, I plan to have lots of sex with my wife on that night) and Eden expounds on the virtues of voting only if you are informed while relating a fantasy that involves Drew Barrymore.

I for one cater to the vote-complain belief… you shouldn’t complain if you didn’t vote. Now I don’t really care who you vote for or if you vote naked (if you are a hot female, please do so while I am voting) just as long as you make a vote on your convictions.

And I really like this video based on a blog entry by Tony Pierce.

So remember what you need to do on November 2^nd. And if you are single, it wouldn’t hurt to bring a date and encourage her/him to vote.

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I am gettin’ really sloppy about posting blog entries lately. Now I do have an excuse for yesterday, I was a bit under the weather. And Monday I was very busy… and a bit under the weather. I am still a bit under the weather, but I was going crazy from staying home all day Tuesday.

The fair is in town this week and we took the kids Monday as it was free admission that night (yep, we is cheap). Now I am all for going to a fair, it is just that I really hate the rides, you know the kind, those that are in this traveling association, they go from fair to fair. The hawkers are always trying to get you to play their games by seducing you with prizes. I fell for that once. I spent like $15 bucks to get my sister-in-law (back before she was my sister-in-law, when she openly flaunted that she had me wrapped around her little finger… long story) this stuffed animal. I could have gone to Wal-Mart and gotten her two really goods ones for that. Okay, so the lip-lock she gave me afterward when no one was looking made up for it, I still have scars from her tongue trying to rip out my larynx.

Uhm, what was I talking about. Oh yeah, about how I hate sauerkraut. Wait a minute, I happen to like sauerkraut.

Okay, I was talking about fair rides. I really do like the rides, well some of them, not that big twirlly thing that goes round real fast and puts you upside down when it swings. Kinda like this ride…

…except the seats go round and round as well.

My sister-in-law talked me into riding a similar ride… before she was my sister-in-law. Yes, that red hair, green eyes, pale complexion, fine young thing pretty much had me by the balls drooling. Okay, so just about any guy would go weak kneed if a gorgeous young woman was nibbling at his ear. In her defense, she knew I wouldn’t “do” anything and that she could flirt and tease all she wanted without repercussions… at least from me. She is still a bit of a flirt with me, just not around my wife, her husband, or her mother. And she had this friend that was always trying to one-up her in the flirting department. Pitch black hair, fine figure, very pretty. She of the “I’m not just going to flirt, I gonna make Michael need a cold shower” who one day to my surprise proved to me that all her hair was pitch black. Yes, people, she dropped her pants to get my “opinion” on her new trim job. I am thankful that this young lady is now in college far, far away.

I’ve gotten off topic again.

What was I talking about?

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You wake up one morning, all groggy and tired. As you stumble your way into the bathroom, you look in the mirror and find out that…

1. You’re the opposite sex. Besides the obvious playing with the new parts, what would you do?
I would probably not get past playing with the new parts, but I guess I would take the time to see what it is like to live as a woman before I would go seek help about reversing the condition.

2. You’re someone famous. Who and why?
President Shrub so that I will be taught that he is not as much of an idiot as he seems. But then I would be found out rather quickly because I would act enough of an idiot.

3. You’re the King (Queen) of the World (no, you’re not James Cameron). What edict would you pass?
I would pass the “Everyone Get Along Together Or Else” edict.

4. You’re no longer in Kansas (or this world) anymore. Where are you?
I’m on the Planet Of Beautiful Young Nubile Women Who Haven’t Been With A Man In Ages. I can dream can’t I.

5. You have a clone standing next to you and it’s going to work/school for you while you get to play hooky. What are you going to do today?
Climb back into bed and sleep the rest of the day. Zzzzzzzz…..

Wake up to the Friday Five.

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