I was trying to catch up on my blog reading at Just One Bite when i came across this entry about pick-up lines. Yes, I used my share of really lame pick-up lines in the youth, but I found the best pick-up lines were not even a lines….

I don’t know how many dates and relationships started with one of those three questions. It wasn’t like I was fishing for a date when I said them.

And those three questions work on men as well as women… at least on me.

Many a woman has wooed me with the offer of assistance to find me buying them dinner at a nice restaurant and/or movie.

Which leads to what happened a few weeks ago.

Minding my own business when I see this young lady carrying a bundle of packages to her car. Knowing she was going to have a bit of difficulty getting into her car with her hands full, I offered to help. After we stowed her packages in her care, she thanked me. As I started to walk away, she grabs my arm and says (I don’t remember exactly what was said but I remember gist of the conversation)…..

“I don’t normally do this. What are you doing for dinner tonight?”

After my initial shock (yes, she was attractive), I blushed and smiled politely and I replied that I was probably having dinner with my wife.

After saying I looked cute with my blushing and dimples, she asked me if I was free the next night.

I gave her the same answer.

“Are you free this weekend?”

Now, wondering if I may have misunderstood her, I told her I don’t usually go out to dinner with people I don’t know unless my wife is invited.

To which she replies that she just wants it to be a two-some.

Really worried that woman is either psycho or just infatuated with me for the moment, I told her that I wasn’t interested. Now being the idiot that I am, I couldn’t just walk away, and I said something to the fact that she could have any man she wanted.

You guessed it… she said she found me interesting and nice, and that she found that very attractive.

My mind at this point was saying to my body something to the fact… “Idiot! You should have said no and just ran away after the first invitation. Run back into the store and get lost in the crowd.”

So I gave my goodbyes, and as I was about the leave she said “Well, maybe some other time then. See you.”

“Don’t smile you idiot”, my brain told my face. Too late. At least I only nodded my head and walked away instead of saying anything.

I walked briskly away… at a fast pace… back to the store. Hid in the crowd. All the time tell myself that just do the good deed and run away next time…. don’t stop for polite conversation!

Good thing is I haven’t seen her around since that day. Maybe I can avoid her until she forgets me, it is a relatively big town.

And the toilet? Well, I was so distracted that I forgot to put the seat down before I went potty. You would think with my big arse I could sit down with out the seat. Not exactly. Thankfully the toilet paper roller is attached firmly to the wall or I would had to explain getting stuck in the toilet.

Sometimes my life is a sit-com… a really bad sit-com.

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