I guess by now you’ve all seen the two latest Burger King commercials. The first in the new wave that featured the return of the Burger King himself was a disturbing, low tone commercial “Wake Up With the King” about the Double Croissan’wich. That has got to be the most bizarre commercial I’ve ever seen. If I’d seen this plastic headed monstrosity wake up next to me I’d been screaming and running, especially after he reached back. For all I know he could be some psycho masked killer reaching for a hacksaw.

On par with this commercial is the latest BK commercial about the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch. It features Darius Rucker (lead singer for Hootie and the Blowfish… he is not Hootie!) singing a song based on Big Rock Candy Mountain while dressed as a cowboy ala Sheriff Bart of Blazing Saddles. The commercial looks almost like a porn movie. The guys are all chiseled and the women are all made up, busty, and revealing. Everything just screams of a surreal porno. The cast includes beautiful model/host “Wild On” Brooke Burke, exotic model Vida Guerra, lovely Dallas Cheerleader Monica Cravinas and two other Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, possibly the Sorell twins (Annie Sorell and Alicia Lorén), and who appears to be porn star Jenna Jameson (warning: link to adult content). The whole thing reminds me of a Gap commercial gone wild.

And I can’t help but watch it. It must be all the psuedo-porn in the commercial.

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