Crystal Lake Alert!
This is a priority one alert for all those who live near Camp Crystal Lake — STAY AWAY! This warning is especially relevant to teens who take drugs and have premarital sex.
Since you’ll be home avoiding crazed mothers and masked unstoppable killers, here is a TV schedule (all times EST) that might interest you:
| Day | Time | Movie | Channel |
| Friday | 8:00 PM | Friday the 13th (1980) | Chiller |
| Friday | 10:00 PM | Friday the 13th, Part 2 (1981) | Chiller |
| Saturday | 12:00 AM | Friday the 13th, Part 3 (1982) | Chiller |
| Tuesday | 10:00 AM | Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning (1985) | Chiller |
| Tuesday | 11:00 PM | Jason X (2002) | Sci-Fi |
Please remember NOT to answer the door if some giant, decaying guy in a hockey mask rings your doorbell.

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