From Examiner.com article 101 Signs That You’ve Encountered A Ghost…

101 Signs That You’ve Encountered A Ghost

1. You feel like you’re being watched from a ceiling corner of the room.
     Are you sure that is not the NSA or RIAA surveillance camera.
2. You see unexplained lights in houses when no one is home.
     If no one is home then I’m not at home, so how can I see lights when I’m not there?
3. Your dog freaks out over something you can’t see, cowers and runs from the room, or refuses to enter the room.
    Sounds like my dog wherever it is, so ergo everywhere is haunted.
4. Your cat stares at a certain spot, his hair raises, he hisses and bolts from the room.
     Yes, every time the dog enters the room.
5. You see a transparent human form walking around.
     I don’t, but my wife does whenever I walk into the room… she ignores me.
6. You feel a weight on your bed, as if someone is sitting there but no one is.
     Yes, it is called my cat.
7. You hear someone shout your name.
     That would be my wife.
8. You find physical evidence of footprints that can’t be explained.
     I ask the kids and they can’t explain how their muddy footprints got in the kitchen either.
9. Electrical devices start operating by themselves.
     It’s called a timer.
10. A child’s toy starts moving on its own or if it’s electronic, starts making noise.
     Durn those motion-activated toys.
11. You see a light colored mist form into any shape and the origin of the mist is unknown.
     Then I realized my wife had burnt the roast.
12. You hear crying of an unknown origin.
     Unfortunately, it was me who was crying after the Braves blew a save.
13. You smell a fragrance in your home that you don’t own.
     It wouldn’t have anything to do with that naked guy hiding in my closet?
14. A picture flying (not falling) off the wall and into the room.
     Have you seen how hard my son can slam a door?
15. You hear the sound of footsteps when no one is there.
     Not counting my own?
16. You see someone who looks as real as you do but as you watch they disappear.
     My children when the subject of chores comes up.
17. You’re physically touched by someone that isn’t there – your shirt or hair is tugged, someone brushes by or lays a hand on your shoulder.
     Sounds like an old girlfriend… she was never really “there”.
18. More elevated – you’re slapped, pushed or shoved by something you can’t see.
     The same girlfriend when she didn’t get the diamond ring for her birthday.
19. A foul odor comes from nowhere and then disappears.
     Two words – dog farts.
20. Furniture is rearranged – even heavy furniture.
     My wife during one of her “moods”.
21. Water is turned on or off by itself.
     It’s called a well going dry.
22. You hear music from an unknown source.
     I have kids, when is music not coming from somewhere unknown?
23. Lights turning on an off by themselves.
     The Clapper.
24. More elevated – you see the light switch move when no one is touching it.
     I get the same excuse every time my kids leave the lights on in the house.
25. Unexplained writing appears on a wall, mirror or piece of paper.
     …but it looks an awful lot like my son’s handwriting.
26. Objects are missing from a locked box or safe and show up later outside of the secured place.
     Happens with my wallet a lot, especially when someone wants to buy something.
27. Your doorbell rings but no one is there.
     So ghosts leave the flaming bags of poop?
28. You hear doors or cabinets opening and closing by themselves.
     And cookies just suddenly appear in the kids hands.
29. You SEE a door or cabinet open or close when no one is near it.
     And then I fixed the door and it stopped happening.
30. More elevated – doors or cabinets slamming shut with extreme force.
     And it only does that when the windows are open and it is windy, go figure.
31. A child tells you they see someone that you can’t. (Children and animals are very sensitive to the paranormal)
     Imaginary friends.
32. Faces appearing within inanimate objects and then disappear.
     I scream too when ever my reflections appears.
33. You feel a cold spot when there isn’t a reason for it to be cold in that area.
     I really need to patch that hole in the wall.
34. You find hand prints of unexplained origin.
     Usually by the cookie or candy jar.
35. You hear hushed whispers but can’t find the source of the sound.
     And it is always before I find the cat in a dress.
36. Items disappear and then reappear in an unexpected place.
     With or without the chocolate fingerprints?
37. You see a shadow of someone in your peripheral vision.
     Get back to bed now!
38. You look into a mirror and see someone else reflected there but when you look into the room where they should be standing no one is there.
     Unfortunately no matter how many times I deny it, it is just me getting old.
39. You see balls of unexplained light.
     Usually after I look directly at the light bulb I’m trying to change.
40. You get a sudden sick feeling in the pit of your stomach and goose bumps on your arms or a prickly feeling on the back of your neck all at the same time.
     Every time I see the bill for the credit card.
41. You get sudden cold chills accompanied by a sense of fear.
     The light bill arrives.
42. You feel uneasy in certain areas of your home like the basement or attic.
     Which would be a pretty cool trick if I had a basement or attic.
43. You feel a sudden warm or hot spot in your home.
     My wife left the oven on again.
44. You feel a breeze inside the house when the windows are closed.
     Who turned on the air conditioner.
45. A spirit orb appears in a photo you’ve taken.
     At least it is not my thumb this time.
46. A musical instrument plays by itself (piano etc.)
     If you were a musical instrument you play yourself too after hearing me play.
47. A sudden feeling of nausea in a particular room when you’re not sick.
     That is why my kids have to clean their rooms.
48. You have thoughts that don’t fit your personality when in a particular area.
     Mmmm, Japanese tentacle porn.
49. Laughter without a source.
     Every time I take off my clothes.
50. You hear sounds of pain, like moaning, but there isn’t anyone there.
     Oh sorry, that was me getting out of bed in the morning.
51. You hear sounds or smell a certain fragrance or odor at the same time every day.
     Funny it happens right after I put on some aftershave.

To be continued……

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