You know your life is boring when the most exciting part of your week is that you forgot to pay the electric bill and you come home to no power. 

Yes, I live life in the fast lane!  Let me count how I get my thrills..

• driving 5 mile an hour over the posted speed limit
• drinking milk… in a clean glass
• not bathing one day a week, that day being when I don’t have to be near anyone
• not using deodorant one day a week (not on the same day I don’t bath, that would be gross)
• eating mayonnaise
• sleeping with the lights OFF
• STOPPING at red lights and stop signs… no, not California stop, real stop
• going outside without a hat (unless it is really windy like today)
• not practicing safe sex… okay, so I only have sex with my wife and we are fixed to not have anymore children, but I DON’T USE A PROTECTION
• paying my bills on-line
• reading… a book… with some dirty words in it
• looking at porn at home… okay, so I don’t really look as much as I am unofficial tech support for this gal with her own porn site who is clueless about programming, but she does have this cute little smile that turns me to butter so she gets the free tech support (Yes, I am shallow.  Smile cute and bat your eyes and you’ll get your way.)
• voting on issues in a way that is not popular with the staunchly conservative side of my family
• downloading songs on the Internet… and paying for them

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