I am like so much a real expert on this subject…..

• Get a life.  If you have a life, unlike me, you will have plenty to blog about.  You can blog about your 100th ascent of Kilimanjaro, your run in with the Alabama State Patrol, or the cure for cancer you just discovered.  It works for me.
• If you don’t have a life, blog about things you like…. eating chocolate, reading books, running over old ladies, etc.  What you might think will be boring to others may actually be of interest to other people… unless you are a interested Hannah Montana wigs.
• Write about your relatives.  Everyone has a kooky uncle or hot sister-in-law to gossip about.  Or you can use the old standby and blog about how adorable you baby is and what she/he is doing at the moment.
• Blog about current events. Unless you live in a cave buried deep in the Earth, you will hear some news.  If you don’t have an opinion steal someone else’s. 
• Write about work.  Who needs a job anyway.
• Complain about the government.  Then you can complain about how they carted you off to jail on trumped up charges.
• Come up with a wacky conspiracy theory and explain it in detail every day, many times a day, retelling the same points. After your failed attempt to commit mass suicide, you can blog about how the authorities are stopping you from reaching the other plane.
• Make up stuff.  It works for me.
• Steal content from other bloggers… just change it so that they can’t really tell that you stole it.
• Fill your blog everyday with worthless links.  If you are trying to get a high page ranking in Google, that is the way to go.
• Post pictures everyday with funny captions.  Be inventive and take pictures of secure government installations that will assure you of a life in prison.
• Blog about your illegal activities… and post videos about them.  Yes, let’s make the job for law enforcement a lot easier.
• Post nothing but memes everyday, all day.  That is sure to bring loads of readers to your blog.

Yes, do these simple things and will be assured of many blog posts for years to come with the added bonuses of being imprisoned, put in a sanitarium, losing all of your friends, and becoming a pariah.

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Hodge Podge!

   1. What activity can you not believe you survived in your childhood?
Climbing trees. You know how dangerous that can be.

   2. What activity can you not believe kids get away with today?
Being disrespectful of elders.

   3. If you could be anyone else in the world live or dead, who would you choose to be?
The freakin’ richest man in the world.

   4. A lot of people think they’ve been in love at 15 or 16 years old, do you think you now look back and think you were a stupid kid or do you believe that you were old enough to know what love is?
I do believe that some kids are mature enough at that age to know what love is (without the help of Foriegner). I had a good idea about it and I still love one person from that time.

   5. Do you think it is possible to remain in love with someone you once loved, but haven’t seen in a year?
I am walking proof that love can stay strong after many years (see question 4).

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There has been a lot of news about the President’s economic stimulus plan and the problems of getting the Republicans to come on board. One of the biggest sticking points is the ration of government spending to tax cuts.  Let us just take a look at what tax cuts and spending as referenced in the proposal changes…

• First of all, government spending actually gives a better return on the dollar.
• Every dollar spent by the government translates to $1.02 to $1.38 of economic benefits.  That dollar spent by the government pays for resources and labor used in the U.S. In other words, the money stays in the U.S., goes into U.S. tax payer pockets as income, and actually does something for the people.
• Every dollar in tax cuts translates into about 30¢ into the economy – the tax refunds and breaks to people end up in savings accounts, paying bills, or paying down debts.  Hardly does that money actually go to new spending.
• Spending by government means the dollar stays in the U.S., spending by people sends dollars overseas, thus weakening the dollar.
• Tax breaks for small businesses, though noble, is not much help in the economy.  Again, small businesses will use the tax breaks not to spend on new equipment, upgrades, and new jobs, but on paying down debt.  Yes, it is good to pay down debt, but it does nothing to stimulate the economy.
• Tax breaks for big business (does Trickle Down Theory ring a bell) has the same problem as small business breaks added that any extra money will be given to stockholders.  Big business is notorious for not using money to upgrade, improve, and create jobs.
• Tax breaks will not stimulate investment.  In the past, it has been Wall Street that has drained the economy and money by companies buying back stock and paying dividends.  And who has all that stock… it is not you and me, skippy, who are buying the goods and struggling to put food on the table.
• Business growth comes by sales, not investment capital.  A company is not going to dive into risky investment just because there is more cash lying around.  Sales stimulates growth because then companies have solid evidence that there will be more money on the heels of the current sales.  Money the government spends on projects employ people who then will be more willing to spend knowing that they will still have a job.
• Government spending creates jobs, particularly the plan as put forth by the President.  Those who have been laid-off will be more able to find jobs.  Pay attention because this can get complicated…
• Jim works for a software company and was laid-off.  Government starts building roads.  Though Jim does not have a clue on how to build roads, someone else does named Carl.  So Carl gets hired along with other people.  Maybe this company suddenly needs more IT people to handle the increase in data.  Maybe Jim can doe that job and because the company has more money coming in it will hire Jim.  Or that company sees a chance with the new money and employees to upgrade its systems, Jim gets rehired to his old job.  Now we have a lot less people using unemployment benefits.  Hey, the government just saved some money.
• Bill is a teacher about to lose his job because of state budget crisis.  State gets more education funds.  Bill keeps his job, can continue to give that kid having problem in math the extra help.  That kid grows up, goes to college, and finds a job at Jim’s software company that didn’t go bust because of the stimulated economy making much more money that working at a fast food chain so in turn he has more taxable income.
• Yes, that little bit of spending on that road made an enormous impact.
• The other scenario, tax break instead went to a company that used the money to pay more dividends to a stockholder Sam that put it away in savings.  Jim didn’t get his job back, Carl stayed on unemployment, Bill lost his job, and the kid wasn’t able to get the extra help he needed because there was not enough teachers. Yes, Sam has more money from his reduction in capital gains, lower taxes, and higher dividends. of course Sam could be altruistic, but history proves otherwise (see what got us into this mess in the first place).

That is just my opinion, but it is backed by this guy and this guy as well as in this interview.

Of course, that federal wage tax holiday would work for me as I’d would by more groceries and some clothes.

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This is Yoggie’s brain… uhm no I’m not a fried egg.  Yoggie is not here right now as I, his brain, have sprouted wings and flew off.  Yoggie, or rather the  body formerly know as the host to me, the brain, is search for me.  Unfortunately, without me in his head, his search will be futile.  At least he doesn’t have to be worried about being attacked by zombies.

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This is a parody, if you were wondering….

1. Find a good blog or website to steal content from, say Cracked.com.
2. Read the articles on the site to get a feel for the writing style… this will be important.
3. Find a particular article you would like to steal, The 11 Most Unnecessary ‘How To’ Guides on the Web is a good start.
4. Read the article again and take notes.  You never know when come commenter will ask you questions about it.
5. Steal the article.  Copy and paste the content, I guess.  Use some of those wild computer skills you learned in that how-to article about copying web content.
6. Change the article.  This would involve using a word processing program and using synan.. sinyn… synon….. words that mean the same thing.  Use your imagination in changing the article.  Oh yeah, you wouldn’t be stealing the content in the first place if you had any imagination, so just go with the word changing.  Put some mispellings in there while you are at it.
7. Post stolen content on your blog.  Don’t ask me how to do it, it is your blog.
8. Sit back and let the visitors come flocking to your site.
9. You also may want to pray that the site you stole content from doesn’t catch you at it.

DISCLAIMER!  The author of the site does not advocate stealing content.  He had a gun pointed to the head of his cherry action figure and was forced to write this how-to. In fact the author, me, advocates that it would be better for you to run down the road without your pants.  You never know, with all of the screaming people in your projected path, there may be one woman who mistakes the sock you stuffed down your underwear is your huge member and want to have her way with you. You will have to get her drunk first because when she realizes that you don’t have a huge member, she will dump you like used tissue.

DISCLAIMER 2! Gal holding my cherry action figure hostage says it is rude to get girls drunk to have sex with them and most women wouldn’t fall for the old sock in the skivvies trick.

DISCLAIMER 3!  I was in no way advocating getting a girl drunk to have sex with her, that is just wrong in so many ways.  And I would like to meet the women who do fall for the sock in the shorts trick.

DISCLAIMER 4! Gal holding my cherry action figure hostage says no I wouldn’t want to meet “those women” because they tend to be skanky. 

DISCLAIMER 5!  That was the whole point of meeting “those women”.

DISCLAIMER 6!  If you want to get laid, there are plenty of nice women out there who’ll have sex with you.  I’ll jump you if you want.  Don’t write that! You are so going to pay for that! I’m going to let your Superman doll have it.

DISCLAIMER 7! No! No! Not Superman!  Wait a minute! Is that grape Kool-Aid?  You were using an softdrink-filled water gun?!

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1. Take :: charge
2. 350 :: Global Warming
3. Stand :: Stephen King
4. Raspberry :: Baret
5. Turnstile :: subway
6. Infomercial :: Shamo!
7. Dejected :: nerd
8. What’s the word? :: The Bird is the word
9. Awestruck :: woman
10. Smashed :: pumkins

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As you have probably heard by now, the Pittsburgh Steelers have won the Super Bowl (27-23 over the Arizona Cardinals).  The game was pretty good this year, going down to the last few seconds of the game with some exciting touchdowns and offensive/defensive maneuverings.   The commercials were okay.  I like the one about the moon buggy and the homage to the old Coke Mean Joe Green commercial.

Snacks were consumed at my house, as well as some chili, but not in great quantities. No one seemed hungry.

Next up, March Madness.

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